Bowel Movement, Bidet, Blowdry

Imagine - for a moment - a quiet, pleading voice coming from the bathroom. It is Sam Starr. He is asking for toilet paper. But we have none.

The Boy Scouts' motto is "Be Prepared." The only thing my dad got out of this is to have toilet paper ready at all moments; throughout my life, backpacks and cars and luggage have never left the house without a roll of toilet paper. Each bathroom of the house is stocked with several months' supply at all times. He would be deeply disappointed.

This particular moment had been expected. All of us had been too lazy/cheap to go get more toilet paper, and this progressed into a Russian-roulette: each of us would take poops, knowing there was a chance we would be the one left with no paper at hand. The moment was inevitable, the continued use of a finite resource.

Enter the bidet. A white appliance, practically unused in the US, neatly installed next to the toilet of our apartment bathroom. We began experimenting with optimal squatting stances. We also considered different approaches to the drying schema and decided on a black fan we found upstairs.

We have now successfully gone without toilet paper for 2 weeks. I have included pictures of the setup for your enjoyment.